Midnight Musings

Do you know who frightens me? Nathan Lane. He has such a strange energy about him. Whenever I see him I always feel as if he's about to either burst into song or burst into flame at any moment. More frightening still is my ambivalence as to which is the worse option of the two. Near the village, the peaceful village, the lion sleeps tonight. I'm going to check that the dreamcatcher in my bedroom window is secure. I feel some nightmares coming on.

'night...

You ask how I'm doing. You ask but don't care
You don't want an answer. If I gave one, you'd stare
Rather than face apathy I'd sooner turn the dial
No matter how I'm feeling, sometimes I have to smile

My face to the wind, my eyes on the sky
Full of self-pity, I let out a sigh
My ear catches the sound of a laughing child
and I have no choice but to smile

Sometimes you do what you want to do
Sometimes bad things happen to you
Sometimes you need to cry for a while
and sometimes you just have to smile

'night.

Silver bells, quicksilver, silver earrings, silverplate? Meteorites or meteorlefts? Can you name the seven dwarfs? (Why aren't they dwarves?) How about the reindeer? Can you name all fifty states and match them to their position on a map in three minutes flat like your average third grader supposedly can? Here's a quiz I'm sure you can't live without.

Are you as smart as a third grader?

'night.

Didn't they used to be more fun? I still like the ones from when my parents were little - Bugs Bunny and all of those. And Rocky and Bullwinkle and their friends. So, I know it's not just that I don't like cartoons anymore. But the cartoons I see on television now scare me. They're creepy-looking and no one "learns their lesson" like they used to. It's not comforting. I don't think it's just me...

'night.

I was talking to a friend tonight about movies. We like some of the same films but I tend to prefer the old versions to the remakes. They're more subtle and I think that is exactly what others dislike about them. I must be a throwback of some kind. (Not the fish kind, though. I'm small but worth keeping.) There's not much wit to today's movies. There is a place for broad comedy and dialogue but not everything has to be so glaring for entertainment's sake. I enjoy the occasional action film and sci-fi but that somehow seems more like television fare. Perhaps that's the reason - it seems that subtlety is lost to today's television moguls and it should still have its place in the theater. Throwbacks to earlier times seem to enjoy a large audience - take the film version of Sense and Sensibility, for example. That was so beautifully done and very well-received. At least that's my opinion.

'night.

No, it's a legitimate, if unattractive, question. In the past three weeks, I've heard from three people I haven't heard from in over a year - two of whom live within two miles of me and whose names came up in conversation just days before our renewed contact. It's so odd how people periodically float in and out of one's life with no regard to how it affects others. I often wonder if the rest of their lives are the same way. Do they wander from job to job, home to home, hobby to hobby, friend to friend, shifting their attention in three-week time spans until it's my turn again? I've learned to accept this and love them in spite of it (especially the one who flakes out on me immediately after initiating the contact) and was even inspired to e-mail another one of my cicada friends - who hasn't responded. She must still be in her sleep cycle.

'night.

I'm so mixed up today. Things aren't going all that poorly but two of the three main concerns of my life are keeping me thoroughly distracted. Not only am I feeling sorry for myself but I'm also feeling guilty for feeling that way because things could truly be so much worse. There's something I want that I don't think I should have (see February 20) and something that should be going well is going anything but. The third thing is just a matter of my own lack of application, which I'm blaming on the first two. Make any sense? Of course not - I haven't said anything. I just need a good cry on a strong shoulder.

'night.